Katie is so cute

What's a Slither?

Apparently, it has a snake body and eight feet. It's as long as my dining room wall and as wide as my dining room table. The babies are small enough to get into your house through the toilet. They have, according to Alek, "adjustable thumbs." The bottoms of their feet are sticky and the only part of their bodies without scales. They have spurs on the backs of their feet, like a rooster (I had no idea those were called spurs. Alek learned this on the farm, apparently.) They are very intelligent -- almost as intelligent as apes. They live in the water and eat other sea creatures. They can come on land, too.

But don't worry, they don't eat humans.

July 10, 1999

I'm a little late posting this. I meant to write yesterday about a very significant event -- Alek turned 9.


I've been trying to figure out all day what to say about my little boy. I don't know where to start.

Alek made me a mom. Alek made me grow up. Without Alek, I don't think I would have survived the worst time in my life. Not only did I survive, I smiled and laughed every day. Alek tells me stories and draws me pictures and makes me cards. Alek cries when I cry. Alek wants to spend time with me. Alek reads stories with me and plays board games with me and dances with me.



Alek has an amazing imagination. Alek is a great big brother. Alek is affectionate and funny. Alek idolizes his dad (Josh). Alek loves to learn. Alek loves to be outside. Alek has more energy than any other three children combined. Seriously.



Alek is very sensitive and can sometimes get upset easily. But he rebounds pretty quickly and easily about 99% of the time. He is a big believer in justice and in questioning everything I say to him.



When Alek believes in something, he defends it. He recently stood up for the right in a situation that would have been scary for just about anyone.



I love Alek. Happy Birthday, little guy. Sorry I don't know how to wax eloquent about you, but nothing I can say would even begin to cover it.

The Roots of Christianity

Stories like these astound me. See, in my life, there has never been any question at all whatsoever that the story of Christ's death and resurrection was part of ancient Judaic tradition. Christianity was not some new religion that sprung up after Christ's death; Judaism was Christianity and Christianity was Judaism. Although Christ had not yet come to earth, the Hebrew people worshiped him and looked forward to His coming. I mean, that is what the Old Testament is about. The animal sacrifices that were done were symbolic of Christ. The passover was symbolic of Christ. I've understood these things since my youth. The split between Judaism and Christianity occurred during Jesus's ministry, as people either accepted Him or rejected Him as the Messiah.

So for someone to suggest that a tablet written in Hebrew prior to Christ's birth that foretells the story of his death and resurrection is somehow going to shock me and make me question my theology is ludicrous. It confirms what I already know to be true -- that for thousands of years before His birth, Jesus Christ was prophesied of and His life, death and resurrection fulfilled those prophesies.

What does shock me is that theological history is so widely misunderstood, even (or maybe it is especially?) by so-called theological experts. Do other Christians really not understand and/or believe that their religion started way before the birth of Christ? If not, then why read the Old Testament? I honestly don't have the answers to those questions, so if any non-LDS (non-Mormon) Christians can enlighten me as to what is taught in other churches, I would appreciate it. Perhaps it is only these intellectuals who are shocked and not people of faith. Let me know.

Random Pictures on my PC

Charlie, in the early days of eating solid foods.

Katie's 2nd birthday.

Alek sipping non-existent tea, using the set that Katie got for her birthday.

A walk down memory lane -- look at how cute my husband is!

Latest Artwork by Josh

I really love this.

Taking a Stand

I support protecting the traditional definition of marriage and denounce the recent decision of the California Supreme Court allowing same sex couples to marry. This decision overrides the voice of the California people, who affirmed in 2000 that marriage should remain between a man and a woman.

For more information, please see:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/california-and-same-sex-marriage

http://www.protectmarriage.com/why.php

Finding Courage, Healing and Strength

Life has just been too hard lately, lately being the past four or five months. I haven't been doing too well. I've been struggling with negative feelings and that has been exacerbating my problems, frankly. Although I know that, I find it difficult not to be negative. This is having no good effect on any of my relationships -- not with my family, my co-workers, my friends or with my Father in Heaven. This is a real problem, and, as with all problems, the first step to fixing it is recognizing it. Well, check. So what's the next step? Where do you go from there?

There's been some praying, some meditation, a lot of crying, some temple attendance, some efforts to serve and still my heart has mostly just felt -- hard. There's some anger and bitterness and a whole lot of fear there. I want so badly for all of that to just go away.

After all these months, I've finally realized some things.

A) Despite the efforts I am making to feel better, to feel more connected to the spirit and to Heavenly Father, I'm simply not doing enough. I lack consistency in my efforts and there are some basic, fundamental things I have to be doing on a regular basis if I want to feel better.

B) It's going to take some time. Patience is not a virtue I possess, and the Lord seems determined to help me possess it. So I must wait.

C) The most severe adversity I am facing at this time and that I face in general is not some circumstance I happen to find myself in -- it's me, my flaws, my weakness and, most especially, my pride. I have learned that the point of trials is not for us to overcome them, but for us to overcome ourselves, the natural man part of ourselves that holds us back and holds us down.

D) Although healing is not 100% complete and I probably won't feel like "myself" again for a while, the Lord mercifully allows me moments of relief, rewarding me for the paltry efforts I do make. And he sends me strength when I least expect it.

I had the opportunity to drive some young women home from girl's camp yesterday and because I drove Josh's car, I actually got to listen to some music in the car (my car stereo has been broken for almost four years). Music is amazing. I don't know what the language of God sounds like, but sometimes when I am listening to the right music I think I know what it feels like. Usually it's when I am listening to hymns or church music, but other music can stir my soul in the same way.

I was listening to the song "Pass the Cross to Me" from the musical Shenandoah. I was hoping to find the lyrics to share, but the lyrics for this show are apparently among the few pieces of information in the world that you cannot find online. It's just not the same without the music, though, and even if you heard the song, you would probably just scratch your head trying to figure out why it moved me so much. It was just the right song right then and I felt like I was being spoken to. Even now, thinking about it makes me cry. And I sang the words in full voice and they were a pledge, a prayer. And now I feel a little better and a little more ready to face the rough road ahead.

As I look back down the road of my life, it is littered with moments like these. The weight of the world is still on my shoulders, but it doesn't seem quite so heavy. Perhaps it is in these moments, I surrender and allow myself to be yoked with the Savior and allow Him to shoulder some of the load, instead of demanding that there be no load. And though almost all the work done is not being done by me, I feel strong, I feel brave and I feel whole.