There are many wonderful things about being raised with a whole bunch of amazing, strong, intelligent, funny, generous, kind, talented siblings. And there is one thing about it that just kinda bugs. I am not the best at anything.
I am not the smartest. I am not the best looking. I am not the healthiest (by a long shot!). I am not the best singer, not the best reader, not the best mom, not the best sister, not the funniest. I mean, you can name it and I am not the best at it. Even the things I think I am pretty good at, at least one or more of my siblings is better at those things than me.
One of my least attractive qualities is that I am quite prideful, so you can see how not being the best at anything might kinda rub me the wrong way. I also have a compulsive need to be praised, so again, being rubbed the wrong way by this whole not being the best thing.
Of course, I figured out a long time ago that I would never be the best at anything compared to the rest of the world, but until recently I held out hope that there was at least one area where I was the best among my siblings. I thought maybe I was the best writer -- not a great writer, but maybe better than my sisters and brother by just a little bit. Then my sisters started blogging and I actually had an opportunity for the first time in my life to read their writing. Turns out my hope of being the best was in vain. Sigh.
So I'm not the best at anything. I can live with that. Right?
Well, no, as it turns out, I can't. So I had to rack my brain and come up with something that I was the best at. And I found it.
I am the best at loving Josh. Not just in a romantic sense either, but loving him just as a person and appreciating who he is now. I'm the best at that. Not just the best at loving him out of anyone in my family, but I really think out of anyone in the world. I think even if we had never met and he had married some other girl, that girl never could have loved Josh as well as I do. I have convinced myself that I love Josh better than anyone ever, ever, ever could or has.
It's not something I'm likely to be praised for and it will bring me no earthly acclaim, but I'll take it. I'll take it because a) it makes me happy; b) it makes Josh happy; c) it's good for my kids; and d) it's all I've got.
Best Josh lover in the world. I should put it on a t-shirt.
4 comments:
Jessica,
Being the "best" is kind of subjective don't you think? We are all entitled to our opinions. You might not think you are the best at anything but I do:
You are the best singer-no offense to my other sisters.
You have the best laugh. Which makes sense because your husband has the best male laugh I have ever heard.
You definitely have the best skin tone.
I have to say that I also think you are the best actress. I think acting is a very difficult thing to do and you are very good at it. I will never, ever forget watching you in "Our Town". I couldn't believe that was my little sister up on that stage.
I have always thought you were the best writer but as we now know due to blogging, we have sisters that have been hiding that light under a bushel. Still, who is to say who is the "best"? Maybe we are all good at it, just different styles.
As for all the other things, well, I never really sat down and thought it out-who is the prettiest, the funniest, the smartest, etc (although I have to admit I have always believed that I am the least smart). I have always thought that all my siblings are amazing people and I am thankful to be in this family.
-Jen
Jessica,
I will agree with Jen. You are definitely the best singer in the family. Not that there are not many good singers among the Geer's. I get the dubious honor of being the worst singer among the siblings. But I also am by far the best singer in my little family so my kids love to hear me sing. See how it all works out?
I also think you are an amazing actress and a phenomenal writer. It just so happens that Jen, Heather, Amy, and Alicia are all pretty good at it too. But still I love to read what you write. And in fact, I wish you had time to blog more because I love to read what's been on your mind.
And finally being the best at loving Josh is a big thing. I like to think the same thing about my love for Lance. It's cool that we can have perfect love for another person. Not that I am perfect at it, but I'm getting there.
You Rock, Jess! I wish I could be with you and my other sisters in Utah in a few weeks. It breaks my heart to miss seeing you all and being there for Grandma!
Rachel
Hey-I thought I was the best singer!
One of the reasons I am okay with Mallory and Sally being 11 years apart is that I hope it will minimize comparisons/rivalry. (The only bad part about having so many sisters close in age.) That being said, Sally wasn't even born yet when Mallory decided that Sally had the better name. What is her problem? I would much rather be named "unhappy, unlucky" than "princess" an day. "Princess" falls into the only category worse than a dog name. It is a CAT name. (If you are confused by this, don't worry Mallory didn't get it either) No matter what I said she concluded that we loved Sally more.
I know it is trite, but I wish we could all learn not to compare ourselves to others. I'm sure it would greatly increase our happiness.
Finally, I love you. You are one of my personal heros. And my t-shirt would say, "I'm what Willis was talking about"
I don't know I thought my performance as Wendy was pretty rivating! I think that you are an awesome writer and the thing is you do or did a lot of creative writing that I don't think the others of us have done as much.
Anyhow, yeah we should stop comparing but compliments do help. So I think you are beautiful, funny, smart, interesting, a great actress, great writer, great sister, daughter, wife, and mom. In short, you rock!!
My shirt would say "what if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?"
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