I Give Up

My Children

They make me smile.

Isn't Katie Beautiful?

Random Thoughts, December 2009

I’ve seen A Christmas Carol twice in the past week and have fallen in love with the story. Both the high school theater production and the Disney animated version starring Jim Carrey surprised me in that they did not shy away from the truly Christian aspects of the story. With much of the dialogue of both productions being taken straight from the Dickens tale, I heard about the light that Christ brought into the world and about the man who would cause lame men to walk and the blind to see. And both productions made generous use of traditional Christmas carols, such as “Silent Night” and “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” After watching these two adaptations, I have determined that I must read Dickens’ original work. Right after I finish Watership Down.

When I think about what Christmas is truly about, I think of two things: the gospel of Jesus Christ and family. Our eldest, Alek, will be with his dad for Christmas this year. Josh and I discussed our plans and decided that Christmas just wasn’t Christmas if we weren’t all together. So at my house, we will be having Christmas Eve and Christmas Day early, before Alek goes to Arizona. And we’ve decided this is how we will celebrate the holiday every year that Alek is not with us on the actual day. He’ll be an adult before I know it and we’ll likely have to spend most of our Christmases without him then. I want to pack in as many Christmas celebrations with him as I can.

On Sunday, Alek and I attended and performed with our ward choir in the stake Christmas musical fireside. It was wonderful. I’m amazed at how much talent we have in our little stake. Two women played the harp, both accompanying various songs and playing a duet as well. As I sat there listening, I remembered how much I love the harp and realized why it is the instrument most closely associated with heaven. We also had wonderful organ music, flutists, a violinist – all wonderful. A young man and woman sang a duet of “O Holy Night” that gave me chills. All the ward choirs picked wonderful songs and sang beautifully. I left the fireside feeling so completely in the holiday spirit and with music in my head for a long time afterwards. Isn’t music truly one of the best gifts we’ve been given and doesn’t music seem to have been almost created for this season? Certainly, for this reason – to praise God and His Son, to thank them for their love and creations.

We still don’t have our Christmas tree up. Since we’re celebrating Christmas in 5 days, this seems like a problem to me.
Josh got a new job this week, drawing the cover for a Sci-Fi magazine. He was asked to take an old Soviet propaganda poster and turn the people on it into a vampire and some zombies (I’m not sure why vampires and zombies are Sci-Fi, but whatever). I would share the picture with you, but honestly, it’s scary. The zombies give me the total creeps. I looked at the finished product right before bed last night. Big mistake. I’d tell you the name of the magazine so you could check out the cover for yourself if you wanted to, but Josh didn’t ask what the name of the magazine is, so, you’re out of luck.
Josh is getting a lot of work. He’s drawing concept art for two comic books, working on his own book, still working on the Kaci Hansen book and will probably now be doing artwork for this Sci-Fi magazine on a regular basis. They really liked his cover and are interested in having him work on interior art as well. I guess they're moving away from using photos and want more hand-drawn art. Plus Josh is home with the kids all day, takes care of them, plays with them, drives them wherever they need to be, cooks dinner, cleans, runs errands . . . so, you know, he is not at all busy.

I have a week and a day off work for the Christmas break. I am so excited.

Speaking of work, today we had our holiday party. The theme was “A Who-ville Holiday.” They were showing the Grinch (the cartoon) on a TV and they had huge posters of pages from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” all over the room and even had little Max reindeer hats for us to wear. It was a nice break, the food was delicious, and I miss Dad.

Some Articles for You

These were interesting to me.

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZjcyY2ZlYzhhZmM4YTY2ZGZjMjdkYTk0ZDdlNTI1OTk=

http://www.steynonline.com/content/view/2673/

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20091124/hl_time/08599194248300

A Day Late

Yesterday was my sister Jen’s birthday. Jen is the firstborn of the Geer clan, and she wears that mantle well. Jen has always been one of my heroes. When I was growing up and being teased or throwing a tantrum, I could often depend on her to come to my defense or be the first to come into my room and try to cheer me up. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve often depended on her for sound advice and have sometimes received it unsolicited. :) When she thinks she needs to provide me with guidance, she will do so. It’s a big sister thing. And though sometimes I may bristle at her suggestions, deep down I always appreciate them and her concern for me.

One of Jen's earlier birthdays.

Jen was a brilliant director and writer even as a young girl and was in charge of many Geer family productions. She has helped her children develop a love for performing, something that is particularly neat for me as their aunt. Jen is super smart, loves to learn and is always continuing her education, is a talented photographer and singer, and once upon a time did a fantastic Madonna impersonation, although I don’t think she would consent to impress us with that talent any more. Not that she doesn’t still have a sense of humor and a sense of fun. Jen can be a complete goofball and can make us laugh so hard that sometimes one of us may lose control of his or her bladder.

The thing I love most about Jen, though, is that she is a woman of God and that she is not afraid to let the world know that she is a woman of God. A few years ago during the Christmas season, we had a girls’ day out at the theater. A few of my older nieces came with us. The movie itself was PG and completely appropriate in every way for all of us, no matter the age. But the previews . . . Well, the previews were a little racy and my mother, sisters and I were a little upset by my precious nieces being exposed to the filth on the screen. There was a lot of eye-covering going on. We were all dismayed, but Jen actually did something. She jumped up from her seat and marched up the movie theater aisle with such a look of righteous indignation. She went and talked to the manager to complain about the previews being shown. Now, Jen didn’t change the world with her actions that day. If you’ve been to a movie lately, you know that the previews are often not appropriate for all age groups and often not at all appropriate for the movie they are running in front of. But I’ll never forget that look on Jen’s face or the fact that she actually took action. It made an impact on me. So often we complain about the world crumbling around us, but how often do we try to do something about it? Jen was a great example to me that day.

Dad and Jen: Two of my favorite people in

one of my favorite pictures of all time.

And she is always a great example to me. I love how much Jen cherishes motherhood and how fervently she loves her husband and children. She makes mistakes, as we all inevitably do, but she is so devoted and so dedicated to her family, to providing them with the very best that life has to give – not worldly wealth (what is that? Nothing!), but with a knowledge of the gospel, a knowledge of things as they really are, a love of learning and of learning the truth, an appreciation of beauty through nature, art, music, theater, great literature and simple acts of kindness, the value of hard work and of good health. She is deeply concerned with helping her children reach their potential and have happiness that will persist in this life and the next. She places a high value on being a mother and understands that being a mother is part of her eternal nature and eternal blessings as a woman.

My sister, Jen, is one of my favorite people. I miss her dearly and wish I could see her more often. Happy Belated Birthday, firstborn of my father and mother. May you have a blessed and happy year.

She's a model.

I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I love the church. Sometimes I have heard people try to separate the gospel and the church, but I think that is wrong. The gospel is the Lord's gospel and the church is the Lord's church. Members of the church are imperfect, but the structure of the church is perfect and the church is a great and marvelous thing. When I watch Mormon Messages or visit temples and church sites or listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or hear a young woman bear her testimony or see members sacrifice their time, energy and material goods to assist others, my heart thrills with the thought that I am a part of this work. How did I come to be so blessed?

I love, love, love the church and am so grateful to know we are led by the Savior of the world.

A Beautiful Love Story

At Christmas time, we celebrate the greatest gift of love the world will ever know: God sent His Son to atone for us. Do we give gifts of love in our life that are a reflection of the love our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us? Charles Akes did. I invite you to read this story of true, lasting, eternal, pure love.

Operation Cobra's Anger

Was the name of this operation inspired by G.I. Joe? What is the deal with that name?

One More Halloween Pic

I had to add this picture of Katie from Halloween because I realized you could not see her awesome rainbow striped tights in the other photo. Why the tights, you might ask. Well, this flower costume Katie is wearing is a 2T; Katie generally wears a 5T, so the costume was a little small. Also, the costume was pretty see-through. I decided to have her wear a white onesie and some white tights underneath. The problem with this was that I discovered Katie didn't have any white tights that fit her. In fact, she only had these rainbow tights.

I think they're pretty cute, don't you?

Halloween Pictures

These pictures were taken at our Ward Halloween party. If you're wondering why I look sunburned in these pictures, the burn is part of my costume. I was a vacationer for Halloween. I put blush all over my face and my neck and upper chest so I looked sunburned. If you're wondering why Alek is not in any of these pictures, he was in Arizona for Halloween. He was Harry Potter and I hear he looked fantastic, but I don't have any photographic evidence of that yet. If you're wondering what Josh is supposed to be, he's Josh. He doesn't do costumes.

Enjoy!

Sigh, Sigh

The saddest thing about living in Northern California is that I am away from my family. It is always hardest during the holidays.

The saddest thing about living in a tiny house in Northern California is that I don't have room to put up guests, so no one in my family will ever come visit me. This is why Josh and I need to make more money, so we can live in a big enough house where I can have people come stay with me. I wonder if they would come visit if we did have a bigger house.

I am terrible at making and keeping friends. Have I ever mentioned this? I think I have. And then I feel a little lonely because, although I have my best friend here (Josh), sometimes I need other friends, too. My family always did a great job of filling that hole where friends should go. But they're not here and I'm not there. So sigh, sigh, poor me. I miss my family.

Most of the time I am used to it. But I've been missing them a lot lately and it is sure to get worse as Christmas approaches.

How Can I Be Anything But Thankful?

 

 

 

A Non-Pictorial and Brief Update on The Barkers

First things first, if you've seen Katie or if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, then you know she cut her hair. Mommy and Daddy have been trimming Mommy's bangs at home since the hairstylist (if she so can be called) destroyed Mommy's hair a few weeks back. I guess Katie decided to trim her bangs as well. Unfortunately, she cut not just her bangs, but a huge chunk of hair out of the side of her head, too. Fortunately, the damage is not obvious. I guess I should be grateful that Kate's hair is always an uncontrollable mess.

And I have no idea why that news had to go first.

Second, lest you think I am the world's worst excuse for a mother, I love Charlie to bits and would not trade him for the world. Sometimes, I am just overwhelmed by worry and grief for my little boy. And for myself. Maybe mostly myself. I am too utterly selfish as a human being and especially as a mother. But I adore Charlie. I would not want to be without him.

Third, I am glad the House of Delegates (a work thing) is over. I could explain the House of Delegates to you, but you would fall asleep almost immediately if I did. This year's house was much harder than previous years' -- at least for me. But it is thankfully over. And I got a ridiculous hat out of the deal, which I will have to post pictures of later.

Fourth, Josh is the hardest working man in my house. He was up until 3 am last night working on the cover page for the first issue of Kaci Hansen Presents. I need to calculate how many hours he spends start to finish on each page he creates. He is getting paid well below minimum wage, poor thing. Honestly, I think he's making third world money. But he has a writer who is so excited to work with him on another project, that he already put out a press release saying Josh was going to be the artist for his project, even though Josh knew nothing about it! Josh is trying to figure out if he will have time to do both KHP and Fangs, which is the new project. If so, that would be great, but I don't want him to kill himself trying to work on both those projects and his own original book. Another cool piece of news: Josh is probably going to have a table at SacCon (Sacramento Comic, Toy and Anime Show) in March where he will be signing autographs. I think Josh is getting a good start in this business finally and I hope he continues to have success. I also hope no one will think too badly of him for the type of stuff he is drawing. They're horror comics and there are immodestly dressed women. I don't think he's doing anything to be ashamed of, but I am envisioning bad reactions from others. So don't expect me to send you all copies of his first KHP issue.

The kids are all doing well. Fitz continues to try to stand on his own, which he can do for several seconds at a time. He is also trying to walk along the furniture, but is not doing too swell at that. He still doesn't seem to care much for solids. I think we may need to hurry past the baby food stage and get some things in his mouth that he can actually chew. I have a parent-teacher conference at school today for Alek. I hope it's not a disaster.

That's the update. It wasn't very brief.

Self-Inflicted Torture

I signed up for the Babycenter updates for each of my kids when they were babies. You get newsletters telling you about their stage of development and what kinds of behaviors are common, etc. I got a newsletter this morning for Charlie, all about the things I will hear him say that will demonstrate how he is making connections, etc. Of course, what I hear Charlie say is all gobbledy-gook that I can't understand, except for the occassional "no" or "mom" (I do like that one). Getting these newsletters just makes me depressed about everything Charlie can't do, which is entirely the wrong focus and one I drift toward often enough without these newsletters popping up in my e-mail. I think it's long past time to unsubscribe.

These newsletters are also making me freak out about Fitz's lack of consonants. Daily, I deal with the fear that Fitz will have autism, too or some other disorder that will keep me from being able to communicate with him. Every day I worry that he will never talk to me. Last night, Josh and I were watching Fitz happily playing and listening to him squeal and I said, "I hope Fitz is . . ." and then I stopped. Because I was about to say, "normal." And I hated myself for even thinking that word. And I cried.

I'm on Reuters

Okay, I'm not, but there is a story on there about the award we won for the conferences I work on. I realize that there are like millions of stories a day that are on Reuters, but still, pretty cool.

Happy Birthday, Big Haircut!

Katie,

Thank you for being my daughter. I love being your mom and am so glad you have been with us these last four years. I look forward to many more years with you and your sassy personality.

Love,

Mom

Bloom and Grow Forever

Given my family's special relationship with The Sound of Music and my fond memories of watching Rodgers and Hammerstein shows with my mom, I couldn't resist posting this.

Josh's Art Featured on Sac Comics Web Site

He's not mentioned, but his art is there.

P.S. He didn't do the coloring. Not sure who did that.

UPDATED: The link no longer shows his work because the page has been updated for the next show.

Talent Show

A few weeks ago, our ward had a Primary talent show. Alek decided to tell jokes. A member of our Primary presidency asked if Katie would sing. I thought she might be too shy to do it on her own, so I decided to have Alek sing with her. I now know that was completely unnecessary. When they called Katie's name, she jumped up and ran up to the stage. As you'll see from the video, she was not pleased that Alek was holding the microphone. Next time, I will let her perform on her own.

The talent show started with the nursery kids dancing and playing to some music. I sent Charlie up there with Grandpa. This is what he did the entire time:

Charlie hanging on to Grandpa for dear life.

I didn't get Alek's entire performance on video; it got cut off at the end. Bummer. I also should have taped the song longer so you could have seen the reaction. So funny. Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, my kids at the Primary talent show.

It's a Miracle, But with a Downside

Katie has decided it's time to potty train. She suddenly hates diapers and refuses to wear them anymore. She's had a couple of accidents the past couple of days, but one was caused by lack of access to a bathroom (this one bathroom thing is already starting to be an issue). Generally, I am thrilled because, you know, it's about time. And there's one less set of diapers to buy.

The problem with all this?

She's been asking to go to Disneyland for months. I told her many times that we couldn't go to Disneyland unless she was potty trained. Last night I came home and asked her if she'd used the potty. Her response?

"Yes, and now we can go to Disneyland! And I can see Mickey Mouse. I love him!" (Side note: I wish I could write this the way Katie said it. She's so adorable.)

There is no way we're going to Disneyland any time soon or anything close to any time soon.

Uh oh.

P.S. Stay tuned for the talent show videos (I promise), pictures from the scout march last weekend, and the reveal of the big haircut.

Fitz and Other Things

Fitz hit his 6 month mark at the end of September. It’s so cliché to say, but the time really has just flown by. The lives of my children are blurs in my memory.

Fitz had his 6 month checkup three weeks ago and was pronounced healthy and strong. He grabbed the doctor’s stethoscope and did not want to let go. Since Fitz frequently is grabbing my hair, my glasses, my shirt, etc. I can attest to the fact that once he has his hands on something, it is not easy to get his hands off that something. The stats from the appointment:

Head circumference: 18 inches, 90th percentile
Length: 29 inches, above 95th percentile
Weight: 20 lbs., 12 oz., between 90th and 95th percentile

This is not a small kid. The stats explain why he is wearing 12 month size clothes.

Fitz is doing well. He army crawls all over the house, has started crawling on hands and knees, frequently is up on both hands and feet, can hold his own bottle, gets himself into a sitting position, has started pulling himself to standing and is generally hitting all the physical milestones early. He continues to be a happy baby, but is crying a lot more these days, since he is falling over and bumping into things more. He is fascinated by the one brick high hearth in front of our fireplace, which he recently figured out how to crawl up onto. As a little girl I once spent 12 days in traction and a couple of months in a cast because of the damage a brick hearth can do. I’m not thrilled with Fitz’s obsession.


We started Fitz out on rice cereal and at first he hated it. He would eat it, but only because I forced the spoon in his mouth. He would keep turning his head and making faces every time I'd try to feed him. He seems to have gotten used to the rice cereal though and now we've added green beans to his diet. He likes them better than the rice cereal. He's super adorable when he eats and very patient. He's completely happy waiting for me to feed him and hasn't attempted to grab the spoon out of my hand. Since our dining room is carpeted, I appreciate that greatly.

First taste of rice cereal. Can you see the love?

As for the other things:

There is a lot going on. The move to the new house went just okay. There is a ton of stuff to do – organizing, taking even more to DI (why do we have so many stupid things?), putting pictures up on walls, buying appliances, cleaning up the yard and house exterior. Yikes. I hate moving. I might have to live in this 3 bedroom, 1 bath, 1000 square foot home for the rest of my days. I really hate moving.

Alek was suspended from school a few weeks ago because he got in a fight with a few kids that were verbally bullying him and his friends. Alek has impulse control issues and a bad temper. Not a good combination. So Alek did a lot of chores. He even did chores over at grandma and grandpa’s. He did a pretty good job of taking his punishment and not complaining – not a perfect job, but a pretty good job. Since then, he’s been doing much better at school; I think he actually took this incident to heart and understands he needs to change. He started cello a few weeks ago in an afterschool program and he really loves it. He wants to play a sport, too, but I have decided that I have a one-activity-besides-scouts-at-a-time rule. I don’t want to become one of those families that is constantly running from here to there because their kids are involved in 5 million things and then we end up never seeing each other. Sports will have to wait until the summer.

I love Alek.

Katie is a weirdo. Josh hates it when I say that, but I don’t mean it in a bad way. She’s just very silly and different. She’s also sassy and stubborn and a drama queen and a tree climbing, shark lover. She’s basically everything you could possibly love in a little girl. I love all my kids a ton and I am perfectly happy to have three sons. But I thank my lucky stars every day that I have a daughter and that that daughter is Katie. She is so fun and brings a totally different and amazing energy to our home. And her new thing is to say, “too either,” like, “Mommy, I have to go to the store, too either.” It’s very cute and funny. She also recently discovered a hand-me-down “ballerina” dress among her things. Once she had it on, she didn’t want to take it off. She danced all over the house and kept playing with the skirt. When she put it on, she ran to Alek and said, “Alek, look! I’m so pretty!” Seriously love this kid.



Charlie is doing well. He is saying more words all the time, although I still have a lot of trouble figuring most of them out. His therapies are going well and he is enjoying them. He’s doing a better job of communicating and is actually putting sentences together, although he still doesn’t necessarily direct his communication to anyone and he is hard to understand. But he’s coming along and it’s great to see his progress. He’s playing with toys a lot more and is spending more time stacking blocks and putting together connecting toys. He also is enjoying having a yard, although he still loves to put everything in his mouth and will swallow just about any object (we did find a coin in his diaper the other day – first kid in our family to do that). When he was playing outside over the weekend, I had to keep going outside to keep him from eating mud, rocks, sticks, fuzzy plant things – basically everything. Oh Charlie!

See the mud?

He also escaped from the backyard. He somehow managed to get the fence open and he went across the street and was in the neighbor's yard. Josh had just come inside for a minute and when he went back out, Charlie was gone. It was pretty terrifying. Fortunately, Charlie was fine, but Josh did some work on the fence that day that will prevent that from happening again.

This is a big deal.

I think Charlie's favorite thing about our new house is his bedroom. In the townhouse, his bedroom was upstairs and we didn't usually let him go up to his room to play; it was too hard to supervise him and make sure he wasn't getting into anything. Now that we're on one story, he'll just run into his room and hang out in there for a long time, looking at books, jumping on Katie's bed, getting every single toy out of the toy box. He loves it.

Josh and I are both doing okay, but we are busy. Josh got the horror comic job I posted about. Word is that the people involved in the project can’t stop talking about Josh’s pic, which he inked last week and they think the inked version is amazing too. They originally proposed to pay him one rate, but after seeing his inked version of the picture, they’re going to pay him a little more than they originally offered. He got the first script this week and is starting to work on the pages. Besides this job, he is still a full-time dad, the cook, working on his own project and doing all the organizing around the house I should be doing. He’s pretty amazing! Last week, he made a special dinner just for me (he made something else for the rest of the family) that was hot and waiting for me when I came home from Young Women’s. He’s the most considerate person on the planet.

The inked version

I am still actively involved in Young Women’s at church and somehow got talked into heading up the Young Women in Excellence event – which is a carnival, so you know, hardly any work involved. Fortunately, I have a lot of dependable leaders to delegate stuff to and who have amazing ideas for how to make the event a success. Hooray! I also got roped into chairing the Halloween festivities for our floor at work. I am also taking a community college course, but it’s online and it’s totally easy. Not a lot of stress associated with it, just one more time sucker. Work was extraordinarily stressful and lame last week. Everyone is going a wee bit crazy and taking frustrations out on each other. It’s awesome. On the other hand, I met with the big boss the other day and she said I was doing a great job. Also, my company is getting me a cell phone. WHA? So now I am important enough that I warrant a cell phone paid for by my company? Weird. I felt like I entered the Twilight Zone when she told me I was getting one.

Did I mention there are a ton of chickens in our neighborhood? They love to roam wherever and are frequently in our yard. See?

One of many that were in our front yard that day.

Anyway, that's part of the update. Check back soon for more cute pictures and video from the primary talent show.

This Sounds Like A Movie Worth Seeing

As We Forgive

Love This Article

By Thomas Sowell

Need to Post About Fitz

But I need to take and download some pics first. Fitz had his 6 month check up today. He's huge. The shots made him sleepy.

Josh has done some awesome artwork lately. I need to have him scan some things so I can post them here. We also need to update his web site.

Josh probably is going to have a paying job doing art for a published comic book in a little while. The author and the publisher wanted to talk some chick into "hosting" the book (I am not entirely sure I know what that means and I am too tired to go into my explanation of what I think it means. But basically the title of the comic is "Some Chick Presents . . ."). Jason (the artist/writer/publishing company owner who Josh met through his comic group) wanted Josh to do a sketch of this girl to help convince her that she wanted to do the book. Jason also thought if the writer and this girl liked the pic, they would want him to be the artist. Well, everyone loved the pic and now they are in negotiations and Josh will probably be drawing the book here pretty soon. Hooray! Very good news.

It's a horror comic (which thrills Josh's mom to no end) and this chick who will be the host is I guess pretty well known in horror circles. Anyway, here is the pic he drew.



Inspired by Mucha. I guess there is some other guy who wants Josh to draw his horror comic too. Josh is going to become known as the horror comic guy I guess. Oh well, at least he'll get paid! :)

My writing is terrible right now. I am aware of that. I am tired and crabby and my head hurts. I'll post about Fitz later.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

My poor husband spends most of sacrament meeting every week in the overflow with Charlie. Charlie tends to get a little loud and distracting during the meeting, so Josh takes him out. He wants to still be able to hear the talks, so he tries to sit in the overflow when he can (the accordian curtain things are usually closed since our ward is not that big).

Today, he was sitting back there with Charlie and a man Josh has known she he was a kid who is in a different ward came in there. Josh has never had the best feelings for this man as it is -- this is not a guy who has ever been very nice to him. This man did not help himself much today. He said to Josh, "Are you trying to teach reverence or does he have you well trained?" I'm not sure what the man meant by that, but Josh felt like the man was commenting unfavorably on his parenting. So Josh said, "He's autistic so he'll just do what he wants." The man turned red, Josh picked up Charlie, left the room, and missed the rest of sacrament meeting.

I think Josh and I are going to have to develop thicker skins. People will inevitably start making more comments like this to us as Charlie gets older and his quirks become more noticeable.

On a positive note, Charlie is doing well. He "kissed" me on the forehead the other day (put his lips on my forehead -- that's how he kisses), he waved to me yesterday when I said hi to him, he's stacking building blocks and putting together toys that link up. These are big accomplishments for Charlie and I am so pleased with what he is learning and how he is growing. His therapy hasn't helped him in ways that I have really anticipated -- I was expecting other things, I guess -- but I am learning to appreciate every tiny milestone. Charlie will never be like everyone else (and thank goodness for that really, right?), but I am hoping that Josh and I can provide him with opportunities to fulfill his potential.

Fitz Update

Fitz has been learning some new skills lately. A little over a week ago, he got up onto his hands and knees and started trying to crawl.

Not too long after that (last Sunday, in fact), he figured out that he didn't have to be up on his hands and knees to crawl effectively and he started army crawling. He was already pretty mobile just rolling around and kinda scooting; he is now very fast. Thus begins a dangerous time in his life. There are too many things lying around all the time that he shouldn't have. I try to keep things picked up, but it usually doesn't work out too well.

Fitz is also very close to being able to sit up. He can tripod for a while. Like in the picture below. And the video.

What I Think About When I Think About My Dad

Tuesday was the ninth anniversary of my dad's passing. The day kinda crept up on me. I didn't even realize what day it was until mid-afternoon. It made me feel bad, like I had forgotten my daddy.

Of course, that is ridiculous. I think about my dad every day. Every day, I wonder things like,

Is Daddy happy with the man I chose to be my eternal companion?




If dad were here, would he and Josh bond over their love of monster movies, history, and John Wayne? Would dad quickly pick up on the fact that I married a man who has a sense of humor very similar to his own? Can he see how well Josh treats me and how he honors his priesthood?


I wonder what my dad thinks about this little guy's name.


Does he realize that it's a tribute to him? Fitzwilliam means "son of William." I want Fitz to be my daddy's son in the sense that I want him to be like him. To be happy and funny and kind, to love God and his family fiercely, to make sacrifices in order to do what's right and good, to love to learn, to be a good man. Does my Dad understand all that? Did Dad help Fitz get ready to come here? Does Fitz maybe still remember my dad, but he just can't tell me?
Does Charlie melt Dad's heart just like he melts mine?

Does he swell with pride at every milestone and accomplishment in this little boy's life? What did he think the other day when Charlie "kissed" Fitz on the forehead? Does he laugh at all of Charlie's silliness and just want to pick him up and squeeze him and kiss him all the time? Does it hurt him that he can't?

Does he see how much this little girl is like her mom and how she is also so very different?
Does he understand all the Katie language that is still mixed in with the English she is getting better at speaking? Does he fear her dating years as much as I do? Will he be as indignant as me when people are not as kind to her as they should be, when she is not treated as the queen she will become?
Does he worry about Alek as much as I do or does his current state of being help him to avoid those kinds of feelings?
Does his heart swell with love and joy when Alek bears his testimony? Does he roll his eyes when Alek is being melodramatic or does he laugh at me because I am getting exactly what I deserve? Is he disappointed that I still haven't taken Alek to a baseball game? Does he know how much I have wished every day that he could be here with me, watching him and my other children grow, instead of seeing this all from heaven?
Sorry, Dad, that I was so self-absorbed and busy that I barely remembered to observe your passing. But you know I've been thinking about you. Every day, for nine years.
Love you.
P.S. Who do you think this kid looks like? And isn't it funny that he's in a very dirty onesie in the cutest pictures we've taken of him so far?

A Good Article

The connection between fiscal and social conservatism

Work is Boring Today

So instead of being bored, I am going to bore you. This post won't even include pictures. Take that, readers!

So I missed Thankful Thursday yesterday. But I have to be honest and tell you that I wasn't feeling very thankful. I actually was very down yesterday and was acting all morose and generally just like a big baby. It was pathetic.

But today I am much better and I do have things to be thankful for.

I am thankful that Charlie now runs to greet me at the door EVERY time I come home and he is anywhere in the vicinity. I get sad sometimes when I am around other kids his age and they are talking to their mommies in their cute little voices. I wish Charlie would talk to me in a cute little voice, instead of just grunting and babbling in tones that make him sound like he is the spawn of Satan. But even though he can't speak the words, I know Charlie loves me. When I walk in the door, his face lights up and he runs to me and gestures for me to pick him up. And I do pick him up and we share a moment. I love Charlie.

I am grateful that Alek finished his Bear rank and I am grateful to Jared for making sure he did. Jared did about 95% of Alek's achievements with him. Jared is kinda a stinker for making me feel grateful towards him, but there you have it. Also, he and his mom are going to make sure Alek can take cello after school this year like he wants to. Alek even had some private cello instruction when in Arizona. So that's another thing to be grateful to Jared for. Oh, and he and his parents and Ronnie bought me movie tickets and a Friday's gift card for my birthday. Darn it! What's with this guy doing so many nice things for us?

I am grateful that my family will soon be moving into an actual house with an actual yard and much more storage and space. And we don't have to change wards. I am so grateful for this that I am not even a little bit bothered that we are accomplishing this by continuing to rent instead of buying like I had wished. A house is good, no matter how we got it.

I am grateful for a baby who giggles and grins every time he sees me. What a cutie pie.

I am grateful for good books and movies. We watched Northanger Abbey the other night. I had a ridiculously huge grin on my face almost the entire movie. I love Catherine Morland. I love Henry Tilney. I love Jane Austen.

I am grateful to Josh for all the hard work he is doing to get our house organized. He's awesome.

Okay, I'm done with being thankful. On with news.

Alek starts school on Monday. 4th grade. He is growing up, that's for sure. Last night he wouldn't do the cheers at cub scouts because they were "embarrassing." Oh dear. Where has my little boy gone?

Katie is bossy and kinda spoiled. I guess that's not really news; it's actually just kinda funny. Sometimes, it's a little aggravating, but usually she's too cute to get on our nerves. I guess that's why she's spoiled. It won't last. The cuteness fades. You've been warned, Katie. Kate's been asking to see cousins who live very far away that we won't see for a long time. We look at my sisters' blogs and she starts telling me we need to go see Grace or George or whoever. Sorry, Kate. Not happening for a while. She also has been asking to go to Disneyland. I think that's a ways off, too. Poor girl.

Charlie is making progress in therapy or so I am told. I am incredibly impatient and it simply is not moving fast enough for me. I am glad he is going right into therapy and sitting down in the chair he is supposed to. I am glad he is making more eye contact. I am glad he is saying, "bu, bu, bu, bu,bu" when he wants to play with bubbles. That's all wonderful. But when am I going to know what is going on in his head and his heart? When am I going to know why he just starts crying sometimes or what he wants when he comes up to me and just starts pulling at my arms? Never? Please don't let it be never. I don't know that I can deal with never. Why does autism have to be so hard? Most days I am fine, but the last couple of days have been hard for me. It's being around all these "normal" 2 year olds that is doing it to me. Darn cute, talkative kids. Wouldn't trade Charlie for them, though. Not even for a second.

Fitzwilliam is wonderful. Happy almost 100% of the time. Healthy. Strong. Curious. Giggly. Smiley. Drooly. He's working on getting up on his knees. He is absolutely in love with the toys and books in our living room and he is pretty good at getting to them. He's a roller and a scooter. Earlier this week, I realized I had not written down one single date of any of his firsts. When did he first roll? I don't know. Mid-July-ish. When did he get his first tooth? I don't know. He was 4 months old. That's what I know. Poor baby. I hope he won't ever feel unloved just because I completely forgot that I was even supposed to track such things.

I am starting school on Monday. I am seriously considering taking two online classes instead of just one. Can I hack that? No idea.

I need to buy a washer and dryer. I think I am going to go the Craigslist route.

I also need a car.

I need more money, even though I just got a raise. It's pretty sad.

Found a publishing company on Craigslist that is looking for artists to do covers. Sent an e-mail to them on behalf of Josh. They pay $1500 a project. That would be a nice answer to this whole needing more money issue. We'll accept prayers on our behalf. And I'll try to remember to say a few of my own.

That's it for now. I had something specific I was going to write about when I first began to type, but it has flown out of my head. It must not have been that important.

Thankful Thursday

I'm stealing my sister's (Jenny's) idea and doing "Thankful Thursdays."

1) I'm thankful to have such a sweet, cute baby, who loves to smile and laugh and is getting around all too well already.

2) I'm thankful that despite being short-staffed at work that I've managed to stay on top of everything I need to be doing and that I've been able to perform some sort of Jedi mind trick on everyone so that they think I am doing all those things well.

3) I'm also thankful we're on the verge of hiring someone.

4) I'm thankful that Josh found someone to work on a comic with and that they have a plan for getting the book done.

5) I'm thankful that I got a raise so that I can afford to buy a car so that I can keep going to work when my boss/ride goes on maternity leave next month.

6) I'm thankful that I've had the chance to read the Ensign lately and that I've been doing better at reading my scriptures.

7) I'm glad Alek is home. Everything feels better since he has been back.

8) I'm glad that I found my Jane Austen books during my reorganization efforts last night. And that I discovered I own the Wrinkle in Time series. I forgot! I'm going to make Alek read those when he's done with Harry Potter.

Farm Subsidies are Bad

Not much to say, but I thought this article was interesting and that many of you would find it interesting as well.

Vacation, Alek is 10, Fitz is 4 Months, and Other Things I've Been Neglecting to Blog About

I do realize I haven't posted pictures of my family or done any updating in forever. I am lazy, what can I say? Here is a super long post to make up for that. And I apologize in advance for all the red-eye. My camera is being lame these days and I just can't take the time right now to fix all the red-eye in these pics.

Things that have happened this summer

Alek turned 10. Yes, I have a 10 year old. I can't believe how quickly the years have gone. It doesn't seem like so long ago that he looked like this:

BTW, I defy you to find a cuter kid. As cute, maybe, but cuter than this? Come on.

Alek is awesome. I can barely remember what life was like before he existed here on earth. He is one of my favorite people in the whole world and I am so blessed to be his mom. He has been in Arizona for two weeks and it's been torture. I can't wait until he comes home (still 9 more days).

We were visiting with family in Utah on Alek's birthday so he got to have a birthday party with a bunch of his cousins. He had DELICIOUS pizza made by his cousin, Ellie, and my sister, Jen. (Jen I need that crust recipe.) He had a very ugly cake made by yours truly (it was an unplanned rush job and I feel really bad about how it turned out). He opened presents and watched Inkheart. He enjoyed himself, as he almost always does, no matter what is going on. Even when he has extremely chapped lips.

So, as mentioned above, we went on vacation to Utah to visit family. We stayed with my sister, Jen, and her family. My mom moved in with them a couple of months ago, so we stayed with her, too, I guess. I got them to myself for a few days and then toward the middle of my stay, I picked up my sister, Heather, so she could spend some time with us before moving to Iowa. And then Amy and her family came to visit. At one point, we had 29 people in the house. Awesome. I don't know how Jen put up with all of us, but we had a great time.

Jen and her family live at the bottom of a gorgeous canyon. See?


Josh spent a lot of time drawing and reading, two things he hardly has time to do anymore, thanks to full-time dad duties. He had fun showing our nieces and nephews how to use the stylus pad.


Alek spent almost the entire vacation outside and I rarely saw him. Katie spent a lot of time following Gracie around. Charlie spent a lot of time trying to (and often succeeding) play in the toilet and bathtub.


Fitz got to meet the other two Geer grandbabies born in March. Josh and Fitz are just one day apart, and Sally is about 4 weeks older than Fitz. Can you tell?

Fitz and Josh

Sally and Fitz

Sally and Josh are both cuties and it was so fun to see Fitz with the cousins his age. If only we could have had little Max there, too, then we would have had all the new babies together.

While in Utah, my mom and Jen offered to watch all 4 of our kids one day (they're saints) so Josh and I could go on a date. We made the two-hour drive into Salt Lake, ate lunch and took in the sights at Temple Square. We also took a tour of the Conference Center. We had a great time. Being at Temple Square, I just felt overwhelmed by how much I love the church. There is no greater organization on earth. It's such a tremendous thing to be a part of.

Josh took this picture. Isn't it good?

Utah was awesome and I can't wait to go back. Hopefully next time I can squeeze in some time to see friends and make it to BYU.

Besides our tremendously fun vacation and Alek's birthday, our summer has been pretty typical. Charlie got a haircut. We used to be able to do this:



Now, not so much.


I've declared it the Summer of Harry Potter at our house. Katie is obsessed with HP; she watches the first three movies on a regular basis, constantly talks about HP, pretends to read the books, and tries to curse me daily. Alek started reading the series and is already on book 4. I'm a huge HP nerd and so I am re-reading the series. I am on book 6.

Eat slugs!

Alek the reader

On my birthday, we had a family photo shoot. It didn't turn out too well. Turns out, Josh completely does not know how to smile for the camera and we all know how easy it is to get kids to cooperate for picture taking.

First, we tried to get a picture of all of us together. This is the best shot.



Then we tried to get a good picture of me and Josh. Josh didn't make it so easy.




Last, we tried to get a picture of the four kids together. Ha ha ha. Here is how that went.





Last, but not least, Fitzcutie turned 4 months old on Wednesday. He had his 4 month check up today. He is 26.5 inches long and 17.5 lbs, which is 90th percentile for both. He is rolling over both ways, clearly wants to be mobile, and has two teeth. His hair is getting lighter every day and I can't tell if he's going to end up being blonde like Charlie, a redhead like Katie or some in between color. He is the sweetest, cutest, most easy going baby. I'm enjoying him a lot.



And thus concludes the world's longest blog post. Hope you enjoyed it.

UPDATE: Alek is actually 2/3 of the way through book 5 of HP, now. Just talked to him this morning and got the update.