Open Mouth, Insert Foot

My poor husband spends most of sacrament meeting every week in the overflow with Charlie. Charlie tends to get a little loud and distracting during the meeting, so Josh takes him out. He wants to still be able to hear the talks, so he tries to sit in the overflow when he can (the accordian curtain things are usually closed since our ward is not that big).

Today, he was sitting back there with Charlie and a man Josh has known she he was a kid who is in a different ward came in there. Josh has never had the best feelings for this man as it is -- this is not a guy who has ever been very nice to him. This man did not help himself much today. He said to Josh, "Are you trying to teach reverence or does he have you well trained?" I'm not sure what the man meant by that, but Josh felt like the man was commenting unfavorably on his parenting. So Josh said, "He's autistic so he'll just do what he wants." The man turned red, Josh picked up Charlie, left the room, and missed the rest of sacrament meeting.

I think Josh and I are going to have to develop thicker skins. People will inevitably start making more comments like this to us as Charlie gets older and his quirks become more noticeable.

On a positive note, Charlie is doing well. He "kissed" me on the forehead the other day (put his lips on my forehead -- that's how he kisses), he waved to me yesterday when I said hi to him, he's stacking building blocks and putting together toys that link up. These are big accomplishments for Charlie and I am so pleased with what he is learning and how he is growing. His therapy hasn't helped him in ways that I have really anticipated -- I was expecting other things, I guess -- but I am learning to appreciate every tiny milestone. Charlie will never be like everyone else (and thank goodness for that really, right?), but I am hoping that Josh and I can provide him with opportunities to fulfill his potential.

Fitz Update

Fitz has been learning some new skills lately. A little over a week ago, he got up onto his hands and knees and started trying to crawl.

Not too long after that (last Sunday, in fact), he figured out that he didn't have to be up on his hands and knees to crawl effectively and he started army crawling. He was already pretty mobile just rolling around and kinda scooting; he is now very fast. Thus begins a dangerous time in his life. There are too many things lying around all the time that he shouldn't have. I try to keep things picked up, but it usually doesn't work out too well.

Fitz is also very close to being able to sit up. He can tripod for a while. Like in the picture below. And the video.

What I Think About When I Think About My Dad

Tuesday was the ninth anniversary of my dad's passing. The day kinda crept up on me. I didn't even realize what day it was until mid-afternoon. It made me feel bad, like I had forgotten my daddy.

Of course, that is ridiculous. I think about my dad every day. Every day, I wonder things like,

Is Daddy happy with the man I chose to be my eternal companion?




If dad were here, would he and Josh bond over their love of monster movies, history, and John Wayne? Would dad quickly pick up on the fact that I married a man who has a sense of humor very similar to his own? Can he see how well Josh treats me and how he honors his priesthood?


I wonder what my dad thinks about this little guy's name.


Does he realize that it's a tribute to him? Fitzwilliam means "son of William." I want Fitz to be my daddy's son in the sense that I want him to be like him. To be happy and funny and kind, to love God and his family fiercely, to make sacrifices in order to do what's right and good, to love to learn, to be a good man. Does my Dad understand all that? Did Dad help Fitz get ready to come here? Does Fitz maybe still remember my dad, but he just can't tell me?
Does Charlie melt Dad's heart just like he melts mine?

Does he swell with pride at every milestone and accomplishment in this little boy's life? What did he think the other day when Charlie "kissed" Fitz on the forehead? Does he laugh at all of Charlie's silliness and just want to pick him up and squeeze him and kiss him all the time? Does it hurt him that he can't?

Does he see how much this little girl is like her mom and how she is also so very different?
Does he understand all the Katie language that is still mixed in with the English she is getting better at speaking? Does he fear her dating years as much as I do? Will he be as indignant as me when people are not as kind to her as they should be, when she is not treated as the queen she will become?
Does he worry about Alek as much as I do or does his current state of being help him to avoid those kinds of feelings?
Does his heart swell with love and joy when Alek bears his testimony? Does he roll his eyes when Alek is being melodramatic or does he laugh at me because I am getting exactly what I deserve? Is he disappointed that I still haven't taken Alek to a baseball game? Does he know how much I have wished every day that he could be here with me, watching him and my other children grow, instead of seeing this all from heaven?
Sorry, Dad, that I was so self-absorbed and busy that I barely remembered to observe your passing. But you know I've been thinking about you. Every day, for nine years.
Love you.
P.S. Who do you think this kid looks like? And isn't it funny that he's in a very dirty onesie in the cutest pictures we've taken of him so far?

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