Wednesday, June 15, 2011
My Pentathlete
Every year, 5th graders from Waldorf-based schools all over Northern California come together for a Pentathlon at Live Oak Waldorf School in Meadow Vista. They separate the kids into 4 city states, 55 kids in each one. Alek was able to participate this year and he had an amazing time. He was in Athens.They started off the day with the gods coming out to open the games. Each child had to write an ode to one of the gods and read it aloud before they could compete.
Then the games began, city states rotating through each area. There was a 50 yard dash, a 200 yard dash, discus throw, long jump and javelin throw. They did different heats and the winner of each heat moved on to the finals. There were laurel wreaths for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place and two for the competitors with the best "beauty and grace" -- the best form. Alek had fun competing and watching his friends compete, but he really wanted a laurel wreath. The kids practiced these events for a couple of months before the Pentathlon and Alek knew that the javelin throw was his best event. But it was also the last event of the day for Athens and poor Alek was exhausted and sunburned by that point. He still managed to do well. He won his first heat and so was in the top 6 for distance. Unfortunately, he was so worn out by the time he threw again that he didn't put much effort into it and he didn't place in the top 3. So no laurel wreath for him.
Or so he thought. But then he heard his name being called. He won one of the two wreaths for beauty and grace. He was so happy and so proud.
My pentathlete at home, the victor with his spoils:
More pictures of the event posted in the Shutterfly album in the next post.
Then the games began, city states rotating through each area. There was a 50 yard dash, a 200 yard dash, discus throw, long jump and javelin throw. They did different heats and the winner of each heat moved on to the finals. There were laurel wreaths for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place and two for the competitors with the best "beauty and grace" -- the best form. Alek had fun competing and watching his friends compete, but he really wanted a laurel wreath. The kids practiced these events for a couple of months before the Pentathlon and Alek knew that the javelin throw was his best event. But it was also the last event of the day for Athens and poor Alek was exhausted and sunburned by that point. He still managed to do well. He won his first heat and so was in the top 6 for distance. Unfortunately, he was so worn out by the time he threw again that he didn't put much effort into it and he didn't place in the top 3. So no laurel wreath for him.
Or so he thought. But then he heard his name being called. He won one of the two wreaths for beauty and grace. He was so happy and so proud.
My pentathlete at home, the victor with his spoils:
More pictures of the event posted in the Shutterfly album in the next post.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Josh's Proof
On May 2nd, Josh deep cleaned Katie and Charlie's room, getting rid of a lot of toys the kids don't play with, and reorganized the toy cupboards in the family room. Katie and Charlie's room looked nice, for once, so Josh had to get some proof of all the hard work he'd done.
Easter 2011
Easter was pretty calm this year, as usual. Josh and I invited his parents over for dinner on Easter Sunday. On Monday, we did an egg hunt for Family Home Evening. Once again, we did not dye eggs. I just can't bring myself to do it -- too lazy and too much wasted food since we don't eat hard boiled eggs at my house. Charlie was not interested in looking for eggs, just like every other year, but it seemed like Fitz was starting to catch on to the concept a little bit and was enjoying himself. Photographic evidence of the holiday follows.
My kids in their Easter best, although Fitz and Charlie were not at all interested in posing for pictures as these were taken after church and they were starving and restless:
The strawberry lemonade cake I made for Easter dinner.
FHE egg hunt:
My kids in their Easter best, although Fitz and Charlie were not at all interested in posing for pictures as these were taken after church and they were starving and restless:
The strawberry lemonade cake I made for Easter dinner.
FHE egg hunt:
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| Charlie just wanted to eat the candy |
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| The Barker Kids |
Charlie's 4th Birthday
Charlie turned 4 on May 3 and we celebrated his birthday a few days later with just our little family. This picture pretty much sums up how Charlie felt about the entire birthday party experience. Celebrations of this type are not usually Charlie's favorite thing anyway, but we got started late (which is why all my kids are in their jammies) so it was worse than usual.
Charlie has never seemed to me to be very interested in cake. Sure, he likes to play with the frosting, but he doesn't seem to like to actually eat it. But he loves, loves, loves M&Ms. They're pretty much his favorite food. So I thought I would make him a giant M&M cookie instead of a cake. Seems smart, right?
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| I realize Charlie wasn't turning 2, but this was the only candle we had in the house. Prepared I was not. |
Charlie also wasn't very happy about opening presents. He doesn't really get the whole opening presents thing anyway, but he was super crabby by this point.
He did enjoy his presents however. We got him a hoppity ball and shaving cream. Yep, shaving cream. We put it on the shower doors and walls so he can play with it while bathing. He loves it. He loves the hoppity ball too, but he figured out how to take the plug out and deflate it, so it's in our room waiting to be pumped up again.
So Charlie's party was not a smashing success, but that's okay. Honestly, I doubt Charlie's ever going to love having a party thrown in his honor. If we gave him what he really wanted, we'd let him run around outside naked or sit on the bed in his room with the door shut while he chews on his alligator toy. That'd be Charlie's ideal birthday.
But despite the non-festiveness of our festivities, I was happy to celebrate Charlie being on the earth for four years. He's a delightful, frustrating child. He has taught me so much and continues to teach me every day. He is mostly happy and fun and loving, but when he's not it sure makes life interesting. Charlie took a moment on his birthday to climb up into my lap and lay his head against my chest, just like I held him that night he was born. I love being able to go back to that time and place in my mind and remember how connected I felt to this little boy, how overwhelmed I was with emotion and with feeling with 100% certainty that he was mine and meant to be mine. And I still feel that way often, when his face lights up and he babbles with delight when I come home from work or when he lets me just hold him and scratch his back. I'm privileged to be his mom.
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| Charlie on his actual birthday |
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Jealous?
I have taco salad shell molds. They're awesome. You just preheat the oven, spray a little non-stick spray in the molds, put a tortilla in each and bake for about 7 minutes. Perfect taco salad shells. Jen's taco meat recipe was sublime in them.
Handsome Young Man
Alek and his classmates decided to have a dress-up day at school -- everyone was supposed to wear their nicest clothes. Alek even let me do his hair. They had a competition -- one boy and one girl were each chosen as having the best outfit. Alek didn't win, but he didn't care too much. I think he should have won. Just look at him!
Thursday, June 09, 2011
To Do What I Care About
I don’t care about that. That’s something my Katie says when she doesn’t want to do something – I don’t care about that.
I’ve been feeling that way a lot myself lately. Mostly about work. There’s a Regional Leadership Training next March that needs to be planned? I don’t care about that. There are leadership applications that need to be processed? I don’t care about that. There are association management software vendor demos to be attended? I (really) don’t care about that.
It’s difficult spending eight hours a day doing things you just don’t care about, especially when there are so many other things you do care about that are not getting done at all.
The thing is, I have a great job. I work with people I really like. I get paid well and have great benefits. I’m appreciated and admired by fellow staff and the volunteers I work with. And I used to enjoy the work itself. I like finding speakers and drafting brochures and streamlining processes. Or I did. But lately, I have not been enjoying it at all.
It started in late March, just a week or two after the conclusion of our highly successful Leadership Education Conference. I worked really hard planning and preparing for that conference for a year and a half, and onsite I worked even harder. I came home exhausted and happy. It went well, it exceeded my expectations. We came back to the office and compiled the event evaluation information and confirmed that the weekend was a smashing success. Our numbers were higher across the board – especially in programming, which was what I cared about most.
But then came the springtime lull. It happens every year. Things slow down to an excruciatingly dull pace for a couple of months. I have hardly anything to do. Which gives me a lot of time to think. And think. And think. I think about my life and my children and all the things I want to work on and improve. I think about the ways I want to be involved in my children’s lives. I think about how I want to get my house organized. I think about the life I’d really like to have – Josh and I both work from home, him drawing and me writing, and we work together to take care of the kids, get them to and from school, volunteer in their classrooms, go on field trips. And we have time to work with Charlie individually and help him progress. And I don’t have to go back to work when my baby is only six or seven weeks old. And Josh and I make dinner together and our family works on chores together. And our household runs smoothly.
I understand that is a fantasy. But it doesn’t make me want it less.
And while I think about all the things I want to be doing, and I think about how my family needs me to be at home, I also think about how pointless everything I do at work is. Yes, the conference was a huge success. So? I mean, it made me look good here, helped me get a raise, blah, blah, blah. But what good did it do anyone else? Was the conference some huge, important, life-changing event? Does the work itself really matter? Is it of any lasting importance? No, it’s not. Meanwhile, the work of eternity is going on in a six-room house in Fair Oaks, California without me. And that’s what I want to be involved in – the work of eternity, the work of God.
Last night, we attended my nephew’s eighth grade graduation at which they presented a slide show of the kids’ school experiences starting in Kindergarten. Sitting there, I saw pictures of all the things I have missed out on – Harvest Festivals, May Day Festivals, the Pentathlon, working on school plays, field trips. And I looked over at Alek. In just a few years, we’ll be attending his eighth grade graduation. And I don’t want to watch a slide show of his years and know that I was never a part of anything he did at school. I told him how bad I felt that I had missed all these things he’d done and he assured me it was okay. And maybe it is for him, but it’s not for me. I didn’t have children so I could miss out on their lives, on their childhoods. I want to be there.
I feel guilty about how little I care about work and my lack of gratitude. I have a great job in a terrible economy. My family is greatly blessed by my employment. It puts a roof over our heads, food on our table, clothes on our backs, gas in our cars. It pays for the field trips that I can’t chaperone. It gives Josh the opportunity to work on his craft and get his career off the ground. And it makes it possible for Josh to stay home so that at least my kids have one parent who can be there at all the crossroads of their lives.
So maybe I am selfish. Maybe it’s selfishness that is making me so cranky about being here when I want to be at home. Maybe it is all about what I want, rather than what my family needs from me. Maybe they don’t need me to be at home. The kids are happy and healthy. Things are fine. They’re good, even. But I’d like to believe they would be better if I were around. And even if it is selfishness, I know that I at least would be happier. Because being there for them – that’s what I care about.
I’ve been feeling that way a lot myself lately. Mostly about work. There’s a Regional Leadership Training next March that needs to be planned? I don’t care about that. There are leadership applications that need to be processed? I don’t care about that. There are association management software vendor demos to be attended? I (really) don’t care about that.
It’s difficult spending eight hours a day doing things you just don’t care about, especially when there are so many other things you do care about that are not getting done at all.
The thing is, I have a great job. I work with people I really like. I get paid well and have great benefits. I’m appreciated and admired by fellow staff and the volunteers I work with. And I used to enjoy the work itself. I like finding speakers and drafting brochures and streamlining processes. Or I did. But lately, I have not been enjoying it at all.
It started in late March, just a week or two after the conclusion of our highly successful Leadership Education Conference. I worked really hard planning and preparing for that conference for a year and a half, and onsite I worked even harder. I came home exhausted and happy. It went well, it exceeded my expectations. We came back to the office and compiled the event evaluation information and confirmed that the weekend was a smashing success. Our numbers were higher across the board – especially in programming, which was what I cared about most.
But then came the springtime lull. It happens every year. Things slow down to an excruciatingly dull pace for a couple of months. I have hardly anything to do. Which gives me a lot of time to think. And think. And think. I think about my life and my children and all the things I want to work on and improve. I think about the ways I want to be involved in my children’s lives. I think about how I want to get my house organized. I think about the life I’d really like to have – Josh and I both work from home, him drawing and me writing, and we work together to take care of the kids, get them to and from school, volunteer in their classrooms, go on field trips. And we have time to work with Charlie individually and help him progress. And I don’t have to go back to work when my baby is only six or seven weeks old. And Josh and I make dinner together and our family works on chores together. And our household runs smoothly.
I understand that is a fantasy. But it doesn’t make me want it less.
And while I think about all the things I want to be doing, and I think about how my family needs me to be at home, I also think about how pointless everything I do at work is. Yes, the conference was a huge success. So? I mean, it made me look good here, helped me get a raise, blah, blah, blah. But what good did it do anyone else? Was the conference some huge, important, life-changing event? Does the work itself really matter? Is it of any lasting importance? No, it’s not. Meanwhile, the work of eternity is going on in a six-room house in Fair Oaks, California without me. And that’s what I want to be involved in – the work of eternity, the work of God.
Last night, we attended my nephew’s eighth grade graduation at which they presented a slide show of the kids’ school experiences starting in Kindergarten. Sitting there, I saw pictures of all the things I have missed out on – Harvest Festivals, May Day Festivals, the Pentathlon, working on school plays, field trips. And I looked over at Alek. In just a few years, we’ll be attending his eighth grade graduation. And I don’t want to watch a slide show of his years and know that I was never a part of anything he did at school. I told him how bad I felt that I had missed all these things he’d done and he assured me it was okay. And maybe it is for him, but it’s not for me. I didn’t have children so I could miss out on their lives, on their childhoods. I want to be there.
I feel guilty about how little I care about work and my lack of gratitude. I have a great job in a terrible economy. My family is greatly blessed by my employment. It puts a roof over our heads, food on our table, clothes on our backs, gas in our cars. It pays for the field trips that I can’t chaperone. It gives Josh the opportunity to work on his craft and get his career off the ground. And it makes it possible for Josh to stay home so that at least my kids have one parent who can be there at all the crossroads of their lives.
So maybe I am selfish. Maybe it’s selfishness that is making me so cranky about being here when I want to be at home. Maybe it is all about what I want, rather than what my family needs from me. Maybe they don’t need me to be at home. The kids are happy and healthy. Things are fine. They’re good, even. But I’d like to believe they would be better if I were around. And even if it is selfishness, I know that I at least would be happier. Because being there for them – that’s what I care about.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Fitz is Two
So despite my protestations about not doing catch-up posts, I have to at the very least write about the birthdays so far this year.
Fitz turned two on March 29 and we had a little get together at our house to celebrate. I made a dirt cake for the party – chocolate cake, crumbled oreos, chocolate pudding all in a sand pail, dished up with a toy spade. Fitz was a big fan of the cake, mostly of making a mess with it. (Actually, everyone made a mess with it. I had chocolate cake crumbs all over my carpet when the party was over.)
Fitz gave a few half-hearted attempts to open his presents, but was mostly content to let Dad and Katie do the work and just enjoy what was inside.
He loved all of his presents (and still enjoys all of them now, three months later – quite an accomplishment!), but he really loved his big blue bouncy ball. So did Charlie. And Katie. Fighting ensued, mostly between Fitz and Charlie. There was a lot of fussing and crying. We decided we needed to purchase more balls for the kids to play with.
We had a good time, even though my tiny little house was packed to the gills with people and we were all a little warm because of it.
Fitz is a delightful little boy. I worry about him sometimes because he isn’t really talking, but he seems to me to be bright (and I know at least he is not autistic since he is developmentally on target in every other way). He’s got a great smile and is loads of fun. He loves to tackle people and be in the mix of everything that is going on. He’s determined and stubborn and happy and energetic. He makes funny faces when you try to give him food he doesn’t want to eat and gives a great shake of his head and says, “no!” It’s super cute and I will try to capture it on video before he stops doing it. Fitz loves to play outside and ride in the car and go to the store. He loves to play with light sabers. He loves the cartoon Spectacular Spiderman, which he will sit and watch with a silly grin on his face, but then say “ow” and fall down when there are fights or explosions. He is starting to try to sing and sings along to theme music, hymns, and the radio. He even sang a song of his own creation in his crib the other night.
Recently, I’ve really enjoyed seeing Fitz’s relationship with Charlie blossom as they are starting to get along better and not fight as much. At Sam’s Club the other day, they were sitting in the front of the cart together and kept putting their heads on each other’s shoulders and babbling to each other and laughing and rubbing each other’s arms. It was totally precious.
Fitz is just an awesome little boy. He is so cute and fun and brings so much joy to my life. I’m very fortunate to be his mom.
Fitz turned two on March 29 and we had a little get together at our house to celebrate. I made a dirt cake for the party – chocolate cake, crumbled oreos, chocolate pudding all in a sand pail, dished up with a toy spade. Fitz was a big fan of the cake, mostly of making a mess with it. (Actually, everyone made a mess with it. I had chocolate cake crumbs all over my carpet when the party was over.)
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| Fitz and his dirt cake |
Fitz gave a few half-hearted attempts to open his presents, but was mostly content to let Dad and Katie do the work and just enjoy what was inside.
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| Opening presents |
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| He loves this truck and the tools that came with it |
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| Another present the boys fight over -- Fitz's colorful 100 words book |
He loved all of his presents (and still enjoys all of them now, three months later – quite an accomplishment!), but he really loved his big blue bouncy ball. So did Charlie. And Katie. Fighting ensued, mostly between Fitz and Charlie. There was a lot of fussing and crying. We decided we needed to purchase more balls for the kids to play with.
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| The fight-inducing bouncy ball |
We had a good time, even though my tiny little house was packed to the gills with people and we were all a little warm because of it.
Fitz is a delightful little boy. I worry about him sometimes because he isn’t really talking, but he seems to me to be bright (and I know at least he is not autistic since he is developmentally on target in every other way). He’s got a great smile and is loads of fun. He loves to tackle people and be in the mix of everything that is going on. He’s determined and stubborn and happy and energetic. He makes funny faces when you try to give him food he doesn’t want to eat and gives a great shake of his head and says, “no!” It’s super cute and I will try to capture it on video before he stops doing it. Fitz loves to play outside and ride in the car and go to the store. He loves to play with light sabers. He loves the cartoon Spectacular Spiderman, which he will sit and watch with a silly grin on his face, but then say “ow” and fall down when there are fights or explosions. He is starting to try to sing and sings along to theme music, hymns, and the radio. He even sang a song of his own creation in his crib the other night.
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| Fitz being adorable |
Recently, I’ve really enjoyed seeing Fitz’s relationship with Charlie blossom as they are starting to get along better and not fight as much. At Sam’s Club the other day, they were sitting in the front of the cart together and kept putting their heads on each other’s shoulders and babbling to each other and laughing and rubbing each other’s arms. It was totally precious.
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| His determined face |
Fitz is just an awesome little boy. He is so cute and fun and brings so much joy to my life. I’m very fortunate to be his mom.
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| Cutest picture ever |
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