My Husband

It was Josh's birthday last week, and I failed to write about him here. I love him very much. Did you know that? I may have mentioned it once or twice before. He would deny just about any of the good things I might say about him, but I hope he will at least cop to being this: a good man.

There's something very powerful to me about that phrase, "a good man." Refreshingly, Josh is content with being a good man. He has no need for greatness in the way that some do -- no need for power or recognition. Of course, that is part of his goodness. Also refreshing: he is good because it's the right thing to be, because that's what he wants and makes him happy, and because it is what God expects. He is not good so that others will like him or praise him. There are very few people whose good opinion he seeks and most of them live under this roof. Because he does not need approval from others, he is free to be very honest about who he is, what he feels and what he cares about.

Some of you may know that in addition to being a good man, Josh is also a very silly one. But I don't know that anyone but me really knows just how silly he is. If you could have seen the funny way he was dancing yesterday in our living room . . . I will admit that occasionally I find his silliness annoying. Sometimes I want him to be serious and he simply won't read my mind and comply with my unspoken wish. The nerve. However, most of the time I find his silliness delightful. Josh makes me laugh, and his laugh makes me smile with my heart.

Many people say they feel things deeply, but what they really mean is that they cry a lot (e.g., me). Josh, on the other hand, has deep feelings. They are not easily shared or expressed. They are a deep-down, in his bones kind of thing. Josh, for instance, has a hard time sharing his testimony, but his faith is very strong. It is also, in many ways, quite simple, by which I mean, he doesn't muddy up the gospel or his relationship with God with any nonsense. He doesn't make having faith or living the gospel hard, which I think many of us have a tendency to do. When Josh expresses trust in the Lord, it's not lip service or a wish overshadowed by lingering doubt. Of course, nothing that comes out of Josh's mouth is ever just lip service. Josh does not say things he doesn't mean or doesn't believe.

I've known Josh for over six years now and have been married to him almost as long. My love for him during that time has become something indescribable. My appreciation for him has grown. There is great joy in being his wife. In times past, I questioned if I did the right thing in marrying him. We met and dated and got engaged and then married in a matter of just eleven weeks. It all happened so fast and when times got hard I would wonder if I'd been one of those fools who rush in. It's been a long time since I've wondered that.

On December 30th, we celebrated our 5th sealing anniversary. I remember the temple worker who helped us with all our paperwork that day telling us that he had a good feeling about us. I have a good feeling about us, too.