Charlie has PDD-NOS.
More details to follow.
Update: So basically, I don't feel like going into this right now. I was feeling okay about this, because it's about what I was expecting honestly, but all of the sudden I'm starting to feel quite upset. I'm overwhelmed, I feel utterly incapable of being a mother to my "normal" children and have no idea how I'm going to deal with everything we need to do for Charlie, I feel like my life is a total mess and I feel like it's completely beyond me to make all the changes I want to make and to be the person I want to be. I don't want to work with a case manager, because I don't want anyone scrutinizing me or my family. I don't want to spend the rest of my life having conversations with people about why Charlie is the way that he is and hearing their theories about what caused his disorder (which somehow always come back to me screwing up) and getting their unsolicited advice. I especially don't want to have these conversations now. I am trying to process all this and frankly there is a bit of grieving I think I need to do. So I need some space. You all know the diagnosis; when I'm ready to talk about it, I'll let you know. And yes, I realize I invited all this conversation when I started revealing the details of our worries and the diagnosis process. But I'm sick of conversation right now.
I'm currently having a lot of negative thoughts, so I am going to stop writing.
Josh is watching Brian Regan and his laughter is making me smile. I love his laugh. Also, I love Brian Regan. He's hysterical. "Man, these bananas are good!"
3 comments:
It's nothing YOU did!!!!
Take a breath, you are strong! You are not alone, it takes a village and the people in your village will love to help.
I Love You!
My heart goes out to you and your family. You are an amazing woman who does amazing things and you will be a great mom--no matter what (and it's nothing you did). Don't you sometimes wish our laurel advisors told us a little more how HARD motherhood can be?! We probably wouldn't have listened, right? Hang in there. you are a daughter of God who loves you and with Him you can do ALL things! :)
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